A brief but powerful glance into the probably important but mostly neglected activities in my life

So just the other day I was eating a bag of garden salsa flavored sunchips

Just really, really delicious. Like really.

and watching TV, when a thought suddenly ocurred to me: Wait...don't I have something I need to be doing right now?  I tried to ignore it and go back to watching "Bad Girls Club" with my roommate (Next we planned to watch VMAs over for the 3rd time; I was still pretty sure Rihanna had been out of key for a moment.), but I just couldn't shake the feeling that I had something important waiting for me to remember it.  I tried in vain for a couple of minutes longer, but my heart just wasn't in it and I couldn't keep pretending.

Not knowing exactly what to do (Having responsibilities is still a little hard to get used to), I excused myself to the lounge and resorted to the best organizational device I had available: the notepad in my phone.  As it turns out, there were quite a few things in my notepad to do.

Except it's really, really old now. Like really.

It seems that for quite a long time I've been using my phone's notepad as a mobile to-do list for pretty much everything and anything I need to do.  The problem with this being that I would put all these things in my phone, and then only see them again when I'm adding more things in.

After I was done running around in a frenzied panic and depriving myself of sleep, I realized the incredible randomness and varying degrees of urgency in these many tasks I had hidden away in my pocket to be forgotten.  I thought I'd take the time now to show you some of the more curious items in my notepad, as well as attempt to explain them (if i can).

 It'll help to understand the format if you realize that my phone notepad has limited room.  This means that I worked very hard to minimize the space each item took up, sometimes with disastrously hilarious consequences.

• go thru phone vids/pics     (well this is reasonable, I should probably clear those out, maybe put some on facebook, etc.)
• getnewphone/backup contacts  (my phone only lets me take calls when it's in a very nice mood)
• King olav scholarship  (well it might be too late now?)
• figure out tuition bill (definitely too late)
• read tale of two cities (easier said than done)
• tune piano  (wayyyy easier said than done)
• lego harry potter  ( I wanted to get it as a gift for my brother.... I swear)
• learn2checkdebit  (useful skill)
• learn to tie ties (this too)
• ode to joy guitar  (intriguing...)
• snacks (simple enough)
• cover bush song (I think this is telling me to learn how to play "Comedown" by Bush?)
• fun.  ,all the prtygirls   (i think thats a band and then a song?)
• relafiar? (spanish word)
• crisp (not a spanish word)
• spinal appt? (sounds like it might be urgent)
• meningitis (sounds very urgent)
• Miguelio and the blaze gray shorts (there should probably be a comma in there)
• backup pc  (speaks for itself)
• striped aeropostale mac nd cheese stain (this as well)
• c#c#/cBbmwayupEbmFs2    (I wonder just how small of a space I could fit a random chord progression into if I really tried)

the rest of the list is made up mostly of

• places i have to be
• people that owe me money
• random song lyrics and ideas
• band names (made up and real)
• various chores

and of course, homework.

Speaking of which, I should probably go burn through some more of this list.



Poll: 1 in 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus

Addressing the youth of the nation: I'm about to drop knowledge

In the past, I have heard people say that the biggest problem with our youngest generation (talkin' bout my generation) is their political illiteracy, and I see their point.  A lot of people don't keep up at all with current events, preferring to stay in the dark about the serious issues affecting our country and our world today.

Naturally, I'd like to do my part to help my brothers and sisters get in touch with world news.  This way they can form their own opinions, rather than just going by whatever sounds righteous.  But rather than trying to just pass on the news to you guys in bite-sized chunks, (North Korea-crazy, Pakistan-dangerous, Russia-scary and Iceland-very nice actually) (I'd try not to show opinions about U.S. issues...) I'm going to just refer you to a web site which will do all that for me! 

This is a very reputable news site, which covers all kinds of current events in and out of the U.S.  This news site is called "The Onion."  It has its own interesting way of looking at things, so keep that in mind as you read.  They have a unique ability to really give it to us straight, because for some outlandish reason they're not really looked at as a real news site.

http://www.theonion.com/ 

The Onion is a sophisticated, textually rich news source, so sometimes you have to do some close reading to really understand what's going on.  They also write articles on all different subjects, so you can search for specific pieces about whatever you're trying to learn about!  The Onion is a very frank, straight-forward news source, so sometimes you have to take a step back and look at the big picture to really understand what's going on.

To get people started, I'm going to give links to several news clips and articles about several diverse subjects, just to give you an idea about their indepth coverage.

Sports: "Lance Armstrong wants to tell nation something, but nation has to promise not to get mad"

The drug war in Mexico: "Mexico killed in drug deal"

Education: "Are tests biased against students who don't give a shit?"

The diamond trade: "Baby skull jewelry may be linked to violence"

The economy: "New law forces ceos to humbly shrug before receiving massive bonuses"

Politics: "Victim in fatal car accident tragically not Glenn Beck"


Not to mention, they do many smaller scope human interest pieces.  This one will just brighten your day!



Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.

Well that's it for this week; have fun filling your head up-to-date knowledge about current events!

To whom it may concern: A topical case study

Being very worldly and up to date on current events, I’d like to weigh in on an important topical issue. This topic is an object of many heated arguments in this day and age, and is fundamentally related to college life and college age persons. This topical topic needs no introduction, so without further ado, I’d like to jump right in and make my contribution.

 “Band Names”
  Or: “how to make your band sound interesting and appealing, but at the same time not sound like a bunch of fascist meth-heads.”

I know this is controversial, but it’s an issue very close to my heart. One of my *at least* three hobbies is creating band names. In doing this, I’ve realized there are a few key types of band names that *most* other names fit into (Some fit into multiple categories or just defy logic). I’ll provide lots of examples for each category. Some of these are real, famous (or not so famous) bands that you may or may not have heard of. A few of them are band names created by me or friends and performed under. However, many of them are random ones that I came up with just for fun.(Try to guess which ones!)

Category 1: ordinary words. This means that you pick a random verb, noun, adjective (or adverb if you’re really getting creative) and make it the title of your band.
• Spoon (I’m still upset I didn’t come up with this one first)
• The Strokes (“The” doesn’t count)(Also, what's the musical connotation of strokes?)
• Incubus
• Detergent (The key is to pick something ordinary, but just random enough that it’s not too boring)
• Filter
• Heart
• Flash Drive

Category 2: Names (of people usually) It may or may not be the name of someone in the band and/or real.
• Kennedy
• Billy Talent
• Frank Tacks
• Kasabian (Linda Kasabian, Charles Manson’s getaway driver)
• The Bellamy Brothers (technically not names, but still)
• Captain Jack (catchy european dance-pop)
• Captain Tobasco (filthy southern garage rock)

Category 3: Foreign Language phrases/words: Now I know that these other categories should all fit for people of other ethnicities, but I’m talking about a name in another language, picked by people who aren’t native speakers of that language. Being a non-native gives you a different perspective on the sound of the words, before you know the meaning. Of course, knowing the meaning just makes it more interesting.
• Lo Que Bueno (that which is good?)
• Luego (then)
• El Contador (the counter/accountant)

Category 4: Made up words/only letters (The letters may actually stand for something)
• Chumbawumba
• U2
• CKY (Camp Kill Yourself)
• VUF (???)

Category 5: Normal phrases, can be colloquial or from pop culture or anywhere. They can also be a normal phrase twisted with new random words in it.
• Sunny Side Up
• Mustangs, Vipers and V-Dubs, oh my
• Lost in the Trees
• Guess Who

·     

Category 6: These band names are creatively random words strategically placed together. This is the catch-all category that covers most other band names. This is also the most fun category.
• Arctic Monkeys
• Hasty Bacon
• Fast cars and fold out chord charts (Too long? Too alliterative? Your choice.)
• Screaming Crayons

shameless advertising

• Ten Cent Tacos
• Clip-on Girlfriend
• Medlab 53 (My brother and I are still playing under this name occasionally, although it suggests two things about us: 1) We play heavy metal. 2) We produce meth. 0-2 so far).
• Best Thing since Tex-Mex (bold claim)
• Hand-to-mouth grenades
• Polyphonic Divergence (very cool sounding)
• Gym Class Heroes  
• The manual abortions  (very nasty and illegal sounding)
• The robust Polynesians  (very vague sounding)
• Hollywood Undead

That’s all for today! I hope you appreciated my analysis of band names, even if it’s a little bit of a simplified version.

Chill Bubble Tea: A review/tragedy part dos

Welcome back for part 2, if you haven’t read the first post you might have a hard time understanding this:
The smoothies didn't look too bad, as far as smoothies go. (which is to say, absolutely awesome) The only odd thing we noticed was that the entire bottom half of the cup seemed to have an enormous amount of black dots pressed up to the side. These, of course, were the tapioca pearls.

I'm not opposed to trying new things though, and although these pearls intimidated me slightly, I didn't let it turn me off to the smoothie too much. Our next task was to prepare the smoothies for drinking. We retrieved our humongous straws from the convenient bin, and then realized there was a problem. With this strange plastic film over our drinks, (instead of those conventional plastic lids, of which there were several I saw hidden away nearby the magic topper gizmo), we had no holes to place our straws into.

We both began to poke away at the plastic film covers, quickly realizing that we would have to fight to get to these smoothies. I tried briefly to rip the film off, but returned to poking madly. Eventually I made a small cut with the sharp end of my straw, and proceeded to stab it the rest of the way in, leaking smoothie all over the top of the cup, and spraying a small amount on my hand. After helping Laura do the same, we left the restaurant with our smoothies. (I pray that those lids were at least environmentally beneficial or something, because as far as I could tell, they serve no purpose other than to aggravate me to no end.)

Finally through this terrible ordeal, we began the walk to south campus, tentatively sipping our smoothies. My first thought was that for a watermelon smoothie, this wasn't as delicious as it could be. I didn't let this faze me, however; I'm not too picky when it comes to smoothies. I continued on until something strange happened: one of the so called "tapioca pearls" finally worked its way up the straw, and it was quite the experience. It was a small black ball, slightly bigger than a marble. It seemed to be completely tasteless, and it was chewy, which meant that by the time the rest of the smoothie in the mouthful was down the throat, this pearl was lingering, still being chewed up for swallowing. I would just be minding my own business, enjoying my smoothie, when more of the nasty black orbs would find their way to my mouth. Then I would have to slowly chew these things alone in my mouth until I could swallow them. Laura and I were immediately skeptical about the "bubbles." We made faces at each other, but continued on.

Slowly but surely, the ratio of mediocre fruit smoothie to chewy tasteless round objects began to overturn itself. As this changed, our outlook did as well. Complaining about the tapioca became the only thing we did between mouthfuls of smoothie and chewy death. Laura began to work on ways to avoid the tapioca, while I came upon another simple tactic.

Laura gave up, tossing the leftovers of her smoothie into a nearby trash can, while I began to spit. I would suck the smoothie down through my teeth, and attempt to launch the tapioca pearls through the air. This continued halfway through campus, spitting out tapioca pearls, up to five at a time.

Somehow, the actual volume of tapioca pearls in the cup looked almost unchanged, greatly discouraging me. I gave up on the smoothie, discarding it in a trashcan around South Road.

This concludes my run-in with a unique smoothie from “Chill Bubble Tea.” If you have different feelings about their divisive “tapioca pearls”, that’s completely alright, but I’ve made my judgment. To be fair, their tea is good, and I’m sure there frozen yogurt is delicious. (I mean you can’t mess up frozen yogurt can you?)

I hope you’ve enjoyed my story/review/rambling anecdote. Come back next week for my first “real” post. Also, keep an eye out for tapioca pearls on the quad…

Chill Bubble Tea: A Review/Tragedy part uno

Hello internet.

Before I write my first real post, I'd like to take a moment to address a topic very close to my heart: smoothies.  More specifically, the immense danger I put myself in every day in my constant search for another good smoothie.

Incidentally, this search is exactly what led me to wander into a certain restaurant on Franklin Street the other night. Its name...."Chill Bubble Tea".

I had heard they also carried smoothies, so my brave friend Laura and I decided to journey inside to "check it out".

First of all, the main room of the store is essentially just a long hallway; All you can see from the street is a profile view of the extensive counter, and occasionally an employee.  This means that to actually inspect the menu and decide if the restaurant is for you, you must venture all the way inside to the counter, and find the menu on the wall behind it. And by the time you're there, it can be slightly awkward to say farewell to the good cashier and make your exit, if you happen to decide that the menu is not to your liking.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), the menu did nothing but make us more enticed and excited for our beverage.  They had several choices:

1) Frozen yogurt:  classic frozen yogurt, available in several sizes.  There are many delicious looking toppings available... if you decide it's worth paying an extra dollar fifty for a couple pieces of fruit.

2) Tea:  There are many different types of tea available, sometimes mixed with fruit, and you have the option of sugar or no sugar.

And finally.. 3) the smoothies.  These are essentially the main attraction, as they may or may not be the store's namesake: bubble tea.  smoothies are available with fruit or tea as the base, and, regardless of ur choice of smoothie, filled with one extra ingredient: tapioca pearls.  This is the so called "bubble" for their "tea".

So, as classic smoothie enthusiasts, we both got fruit smoothies.  I bought the watermelon one, and Laura selected the "fresh mango" smoothie.

Now at this point I'd like to take a little while to talk about an elaborate contraption I saw at the end of the counter.  I'm no ruler, but I'd say it was about 3 feet tall, and looked ridiculous.  You can't tell very well in the picture, but there's a multitude of buttons and numbers on the panel in front, making it look awesomely complicated.

So once one of the maybe two at most people working there (what is so interesting in the back room that they want to spend so much time back there??) got to work on our smoothies, they progressed rather quickly down the counter, rapidly approaching the frightening blue machine on the end.  Honestly, I couldn't wait to see it in action.

Finally, the time came to see this marvel work its magic.  The lady behind the counter placed my smoothie, already in its cup, into the holder at the bottom of the machine.  A button was pressed, and the smoothie was carried into the machine, and slid back out in the same position.  Just like that, it was over.  All the smoothie had to show for it: a thin plastic film fixed to the top of the smoothie cup.  I was in shock for a moment, and then the disappointment slowly mounted as I realized that was all that was going to happen.

I tried not to let this get me down though, I did my best to focus on the smoothie.  Laura's smoothie spent its brief time in the machine as well, and we were almost ready to go.

Come back next time for the chilling result for  "Chill Bubble Tea: A Review/Tragedy  part uno"

-Michael

(Why is the machine even that big and intimidating?? The cup just slid in the bottom! It didn't even get lifted up or spun around or anything!!!)