To whom it may concern: A topical case study

Being very worldly and up to date on current events, I’d like to weigh in on an important topical issue. This topic is an object of many heated arguments in this day and age, and is fundamentally related to college life and college age persons. This topical topic needs no introduction, so without further ado, I’d like to jump right in and make my contribution.

 “Band Names”
  Or: “how to make your band sound interesting and appealing, but at the same time not sound like a bunch of fascist meth-heads.”

I know this is controversial, but it’s an issue very close to my heart. One of my *at least* three hobbies is creating band names. In doing this, I’ve realized there are a few key types of band names that *most* other names fit into (Some fit into multiple categories or just defy logic). I’ll provide lots of examples for each category. Some of these are real, famous (or not so famous) bands that you may or may not have heard of. A few of them are band names created by me or friends and performed under. However, many of them are random ones that I came up with just for fun.(Try to guess which ones!)

Category 1: ordinary words. This means that you pick a random verb, noun, adjective (or adverb if you’re really getting creative) and make it the title of your band.
• Spoon (I’m still upset I didn’t come up with this one first)
• The Strokes (“The” doesn’t count)(Also, what's the musical connotation of strokes?)
• Incubus
• Detergent (The key is to pick something ordinary, but just random enough that it’s not too boring)
• Filter
• Heart
• Flash Drive

Category 2: Names (of people usually) It may or may not be the name of someone in the band and/or real.
• Kennedy
• Billy Talent
• Frank Tacks
• Kasabian (Linda Kasabian, Charles Manson’s getaway driver)
• The Bellamy Brothers (technically not names, but still)
• Captain Jack (catchy european dance-pop)
• Captain Tobasco (filthy southern garage rock)

Category 3: Foreign Language phrases/words: Now I know that these other categories should all fit for people of other ethnicities, but I’m talking about a name in another language, picked by people who aren’t native speakers of that language. Being a non-native gives you a different perspective on the sound of the words, before you know the meaning. Of course, knowing the meaning just makes it more interesting.
• Lo Que Bueno (that which is good?)
• Luego (then)
• El Contador (the counter/accountant)

Category 4: Made up words/only letters (The letters may actually stand for something)
• Chumbawumba
• U2
• CKY (Camp Kill Yourself)
• VUF (???)

Category 5: Normal phrases, can be colloquial or from pop culture or anywhere. They can also be a normal phrase twisted with new random words in it.
• Sunny Side Up
• Mustangs, Vipers and V-Dubs, oh my
• Lost in the Trees
• Guess Who

·     

Category 6: These band names are creatively random words strategically placed together. This is the catch-all category that covers most other band names. This is also the most fun category.
• Arctic Monkeys
• Hasty Bacon
• Fast cars and fold out chord charts (Too long? Too alliterative? Your choice.)
• Screaming Crayons

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• Ten Cent Tacos
• Clip-on Girlfriend
• Medlab 53 (My brother and I are still playing under this name occasionally, although it suggests two things about us: 1) We play heavy metal. 2) We produce meth. 0-2 so far).
• Best Thing since Tex-Mex (bold claim)
• Hand-to-mouth grenades
• Polyphonic Divergence (very cool sounding)
• Gym Class Heroes  
• The manual abortions  (very nasty and illegal sounding)
• The robust Polynesians  (very vague sounding)
• Hollywood Undead

That’s all for today! I hope you appreciated my analysis of band names, even if it’s a little bit of a simplified version.