RETURN TO UNC! (Because my blog has been in Germany for the last month)

It pains me to say it, but I have to move on from talking about Germany.  Luckily, I’ve been at UNC since then, which, while it is not Germany, is far from the least interesting place in the world.  It’s actually pretty crazy-awesome-fantastic, if you haven't caught on yet. (Aka: crAZAwesomtastic. There are 5 more ways to pronounce this than you have thought of thus far) 

So now I need to think about what has happened in my last month of college since I got back from Germany.  Hm.  Well I haven’t seen any drunken parades or played on any impressionist jungle gyms or raided any medieval castles.  That much is certain.  Depressingly certain. 

Okay Michael, focus on the good times, THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.  UNC has been really absolutely incredibly beautiful.  Like a lot.  I participated in Holi (Moli), which is…(deep breath) a spring religious  Hindu festival celebrated primarily in India Nepal Sri Lanka and countries with large Indic diaspora populations by people throwing colored powder and colored water at each other in order to celebrate life and give tribute to Vishnu to whom is ascribed six important qualities by the Hindu religion including opulence, energy, strength, vigor, and splendor.  Omniscience is not really relevant to the celebration.

Translated into American college student: “We runz every which way wheres and throw paint ats each other 'til we'z is all good n’ mussied up.” (My Hindu-American College Student dictionary is slightly outdated.)

(That joke was the product of minutes of elaborate deliberation.  I don’t think it shows so I figured I’d let you know.  Only the best.  When that is not an option I usually shoot for the most unusual.)

The best part of this was that I got to walk around for hours afterward and answer to questions from curious and confused Franklin Street people, saying: “Paint? What paint?  .... My face?  …. I’m sorry, I have no idea what you’re talking about and I think I’m going to go back to my table now; your probing questions about my appearance are making me feel somewhat uncomfortable.” *Powerwalks back to table and speaks in hushed tones while making quick and obviously creeped out glances back at the cute and bewildered old couple and their 5-year-old granddaughter*   

I also enjoyed getting an awesomely tie-died shirt.

The worst part about this was leaving a cloud of paint dust wherever I went, ruining my shower, and having to throw away those socks.  I also had visible paint in my right ear for at least 2 days afterward.

Apparently that’s a very important annual event at Carolina.  Another thing I did was attend Relay For Life, which was a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society, which is like a less tiring, less quirky, less insane, and entirely more mainstream version of Dance Marathon.  (I am becoming a conoeisur of fundraisers.) (I wonder how bad I can misspell cannneisusur and still make it recognizable…)

My hair is red. His is green. striped.

Relay For Life was really cool and definitely worthwhile.  The weather got bad (And the bands got worse) but people stayed and camped out inside the Field House and it was just a beautiful thing.  (What was not exactly beautiful per-say was the creepy synth beats with what sounded like a Russian opera singer on stage weaving her voodoo gypsy magic on the crowd.  -- actually that’s probably what caused the bad weather.)  (I realize the historical inaccurate improbabilities of that first thing I said.) 

(Okay to be fair the bands were at their worst when the weather was good at the beginning; it was more of a negative correlation.)  

(My statement about the Siberian voodoo sorcerer and her Celtic gypsy magic calling a vicious storm to rain lightning on the soccer field still stands.) 

(I sincerely apologize if that joke is a "you-had-to-be-there".  I tried my best.)

(Here's a consolation: If there is one thing that I've learned at UNC, it is how much I love bagels.  Bagels bagels bagels. Bagels bagels bagels bagels.)

(I'm not sure how that's consoling.)

(Maybe if I'm lucky it'll be entertaining to all those people that weren't very entertained by my description of the romani witch singer.)

(Or maybe this waffling about it will do the trick.)

(Or that.)

(Haha "Waffling")

(I should go.)