In the midst of stressful final exams/in hopes of avoiding overstudying

So Thursday night I was up until 2, stressedfully (only almost-word capable of expressing this particular sentiment, meaning "in a very stresséd manner) studying Native American history for the exam at noon Friday. Luckily I had 3 hours to slowly unpack these piles of dates and information and historical insights for the actual test.  Andddd I don't have anything interesting to say about my Spanish exam from Saturday.

I've got a lot of papers to write and fields of economics to review, so this is sort of (does that make sense? I guess it's just cause of texting, but it doesn't feel right when "sortof" or "kindof" actually has space between the words.)whooooops lost my train of thought.

So this is sort of just a placeholder while I get through this week and finish my exams and various final papers.  As soon as I get to Christmas Break, I'll probably (I say that tentatively (Which I say hesitantly)) be back to writing full length random blog posts about nothingness.  So here's a few observations and remarks about stuff I've been writing about, as well what is likely to be my new favorite website ever ever, once I get the time to fully explore it without the back of my mind constantly saying (That's not a real expression.) "OMG OMG OMG PAPERS SO MANY PAPERS" in a sortof (oops) slurred, whiny, panicky (because the word wasn't weird enough without an gratuitous random "k") Scandinavian accent. 

I google-image-searched "crying viking"

Sometimes I don't like that my thoughts get in the way of my words. (hmm.)  One more time: "once I get the time to fully explore it without the back of my mind constantly saying "OMG OMG OMG PAPERS SO MANY PAPERS" in a sortof slurred, whiny, panicky Scandinavian accent.




Stuff I'm writing about:

• Well last Friday I wrote extensively about the efforts of Native American communities in North America to "reassert sovereignty" in the Twentieth Century.  (There was actually a lot to say.  I think of it sortof (CRAP) like those grabby claw games in arcades.  Almost got the political self-determination, almost got it, just gotta drop it in the hole, NOOO!!!  Dang it, the Richard Nixon doll just jumped out and pulled it down! (whats going on?) okay okay try again, we can do it. almost almost, no, more to the right, youre gonna, youre gonna, NOOO!!! YOU GRABBED THE STUPID TROLL DOLL!  (Try to imagine the Native American who's yelling all this stuff and heckling the guy who's actually trying to free his people from imperial tyranny)   (I could continue this by talking about some of the younger Native Americans who want to just say "heck with it, let's break the machine", but then the older Native Americans don't want to and then the people that own the place start coming over because they're racist and the Native Americans are looking threateningly at the claw machine, and then for some reason guns start going off))(Starting to get extended metaphor induced headaches)
• Oh wow.
• Right now (well obviously not *right now*) I'm writing another paper about "what is a work of art" and especially how it pertains to music and the question "where does a musical work reside?"   Which is getting reaaaallly metaphysical(I hope I've been using that word right) and collegiate and is hard to wrap my head around but It's amazing.
• Then I've got to do two more papers about music, but I haven't started yet so I don't have much to say about them.

........So this post was not as brief as it was meant to be, but I guess that's how it usually goes.

Last but not least, here's the website: Tv Tropes    It basically explains and goes into all kinds of ridiculous detail about all kinds of different cliches and genre conventions in literature and television and everything.  Like literally everything.  I love it.

Here's a specific article; READ IT   Tv Tropes: Metaphor Gotten

Flight of the Conchords: worth your time; extremely funny (and more of "The Onion" hooray for social commentary!)

Wow...  I basically just summed up this entire post rather effectively with that title there.  But I guess I'll keep going?

Or....I'll just expand the content of this post and cover even more random stuff! (Note to self: Plan basic vague outline of post *before* you write the title and the first short paragraph.) (or two.)

Okay Michael, breathe, okay good? now blog.

(I considered saying "Okay, Michael, breathe, okay, good? But a comma between every word comes on a bit strong) (CRAP this is where I was supposed to start the post)

In the midst of crunch time, what with all (easily one of the weirdest uses of words in the English language) the big assignments and essays and such, (this also ranks) it's important to keep stress levels down and relax with some laughter every now and then. So unless you prefer to cut people down to amuse you, or you just like laughing to yourself creepily, you're going to need something to laugh at/entertain you in general.  This is where I can help.  "Provider of Entertainment" just happens to be my 5th, 6th, and 7th middle names. (After Erik, Danger, MADNESS, and Trish)

Here's a couple of leads to get you started (listlistlistLISTlistlistlist)

1) The Flight of the Conchords:  If you've never heard of them, then shame on you; take a break from homework to go look through their stuff on youtube and read about their lives on wikipedia. They're basically a folk duo from New Zealand (BLOGSPOT DOESN'T RECOGNIZE ZEALAND AS A WORD THAT'S REALLY FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S A COUNTRY. HEY BLOGSPOT, WHY DON'T YOU GO TO COLLEGE?), and they have a Television show on HBO.  It's hilariously awkward and awkwardly hilarious and they have great accents.  If you don't have time to watch it or you can't find episodes on Youtube, then just watch some of their songs.  Here's a couple of samples: It's Business Time, Hiphopopotamus vs Rhymenoceros, The Humans Are Dead

I sincerely apologize for this horribly distracted blog post writing.  I'm putting off homework.

2) Homestar Runner: "Absolutely ridiculous"  These are two words I use to describe Homestar Runner. Although I really mean "www.homestarrunner.com" when I say that, because Homestar Runner is only of a whole ensemble of oddly shaped hysterical animated characters.  I suggest just exploring the site at random, especially "toons" and "sb emails" (Although just jumping in might be a bit of a shock).  If you're not up to exploring at random, here's some random classics I've randomly picked out specifically:  Trogdor, Teen Girl Squad, Cheat Commandos

3) Onion News:  So I've already talked about this one and I bring it up constantly, but it never gets old, and it's probably the place where I waste the biggest amount of time.  Just read one of these articles or watch one of these videos, and randomly explore the site from there.  But I also want to briefly discuss just how ridiculous and full of social commentary these can be.  Of course some of them are just plain weird but amazingly funny, but take for example this one:

20,000 Sacrificed In Annual Blood Offering To Corporate America

It's making a statement about our consumer culture and how our nation's government seems to value economic success and GDP over the health and well being of its people! Hooray!

Terrified FDA Warns Something Making Bananas Black After Several Days

Disgusted TSA Agents Also Calling For End To Body Scanning, Thorough Pat-Downs

New Study Finds Blacks More Likely

Mean Scientists Dash Hope of Finding Life on Mars

Don't Come Crying To Me When You Need Someone Who Can Speak Elvish

Don't worry, feel free to waste as little or as much time on the stuff in this post if you have work to do. (Lord knows I've wasted enough time for all of us)

Collecting: the laziest of the laziest passive hobbies/the random things I end up with large quantities of and seem cool enough to save and not throw away.

Today is the first day of Thanksgiving Break.  But.... I feel like I've extensively covered the subject of breaks and painful amounts of schoolwork that I'm getting a break from, so I'm not going to talk about that.

What I'd like to talk about is collecting.  Some people collect random things, like leaves or stamps.  This almost seems like a manufactured "hobby" that they decided to have one day to make them more interesting, and to give them something to show visitors.  Collecting isn't really the kind of hobby that you spend a lot of time actively doing, unless you have nothing else to do with your time.  So if you look at it this way, collecting isn't really a hobby, it's just something that happens.  The way I look at is this:  I realize I have a lot of some kind of thing, so I'm going to keep any more I get of this thing so that I have even more of a lot.

What really interests me about collecting however, is what it reveals about the person.  Now, because I've been aching to get to it ever since I started this post, I'm going to skip ahead to doing a listy (not a word) type thing of a couple of the things that I collect or have collected in the past.  You can make your own conclusions about what it reveals, because I'm not in the mood for critical self-analysis.  (Does this reveal something too? Or is no one ever really in the mood for that?)

• Quarters: My grandparents gave me a beginning state quarters collection when I was little, and proceeded to help me fill it in with new quarters.  This helped teach me the satisfaction you can get out of collecting and completing things, but without the actual time/active collecting involved.  It's also the kind of collection you can do over and over! Or at least plan to do a second time after you use most of the collection to get into Cici's. (Should've gone with the water)  (You think 32 quarters pissed off the cashier?  What about my friend's 80 dimes?)
• Legos:  Specifically, Starwars Legos.  When my brothers and I were little, one of our rooms would be perpetually covered in legos and action figures.  There would be an entire world of people and complex relations and long lost relatives and evil twins and dead ghost aunts.  (It was like a soap opera, but only pg and with at least three times the violence)  Starwars Legos were at the top of the pack in terms of popularity, power, number, (I almost wanted to say numerosity for a moment, then I realized that's not a thing)and basically everything.
• Broken sunglasses:  This one's pretty easy to explain.  I'm really really bad at collecting and maintaining a collection of fully operable, unbroken sunglasses.  I also like wearing sunglasses, and don't throw them out when they are no longer functional.
• Hoodies:  I hate how that's not recognized as a real word.  I end up with many, many hoodies.  I prefer zipper hoodies, but most of mine are not.  I once found 3.00 shirt-thin hoodies at Pac-Sun.  I bought two, and then went home and told everyone.
• Music:  I got the biggest ipod I could and loaded it up with music from every person's computer I could get my hands on.  If i have more time I put their music on a harddrive then fill my computer with it. =D (wow.  Those smileys (HOODIES ISNT A WORD BUT SMILEYS IS? SHENANIGANS!) look utterly ridiculous in this font.)
• Guitars:  I attempted to have enough guitars to always have one available in the house, so I wouldn't have to go farther than one room away to get one.  I succeeded, although some are in much worse shape than others, and one isn't actually fully built yet. It's a work in progress.  Very, very slow progress.

Well that's it for this week, now I need to go enjoy my break!

(Server keeps rejecting my attempts to upload pictures? Oh well, sorry visually inclined readers, at least I tried.)

New Evidence Proves First Flag Made By Betsy Ross Actually Shirt For Gay Friend

 HARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTERHARRYPOTTER (don't worry; no spoilers) (Also, maybe I'll talk more about Harry Potter next week, when more people have seen it...)

The "holy hell we have 14 days of class left" phenomenon (Why are there japanese characters on the top of my web browser? (This subject is not covered in this blog post))

HOLY HELL WE HAVE 14 DAYS OF CLASS LEFT!

I suddenly realized that today as I was taking a test in my Native American History class. (Of course my next thought after that one was: HOLY HELL I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A NATIVE AMERICAN HISTORY TEST, BACK TO WORK!)

Crazy Horse: Most Badassly Epic Native American Hero Ever. (I capitalize each word because that is his legitimate title) But seriously, read a book about him or something.

Later, once I had time to reflect on this, I realized it is in fact, a big deal.  My first semester of school is coming to a close.  I've basically adjusted to college life, and I've attempted to register for classes for next semester. (always a painful, tragic process)    It's kind of exciting, a little surreal, it probably means I need to keep thinking about my major, but the main thing it means for me at the moment is: time to panic. 

I'm not overly worried about exam time approaching, but the end of the semester is when everything steps up and all kinds of big assignments are due.  If you've been meaning to go to that extracurricular activity you might still be on the listserv for, and you haven't gone yet, it's not going to happen.  (goodbye ruf, open mic night, tnw, respc)  It's time to buckle down and start working long hours into the night in the library/just start stressing out in general.  No more distractions; you've got the ball, now you just need to cradle your g.p.a. under your arm and sprint down the field, spin-move that paper, juke the crap out of that Spanish presentation, and make it safely to the end zone. (Thanksgiving break)  Then you get some gatorade, catch your breath, and do it all over again. (Christmas break)

That's basically what it means to be an overloaded college student just a couple of weeks away from the end of the semester.  It also means that you should probably take another look at that big research paper you got assigned at the beginning of the yearCRAP

Youtube and Myspace as talent agents: Being really obnoxious is the new "getting yourself out there"

gross, misleading, effective?

You've heard about it happening before, and it's becoming more and more
common.  This rapidly escalating new phenomenon is quickly changing
the way people market themselves and approach their careers.

No, I'm not talking about urinal ads or streaking or Disney channel shows that always manage to show people living luxuriously with all kinds of amenities even when financial struggles is one of the problems that often comes up as a driving plot idea.

the one on the right appears to have just undergone dental surgery

.

I am talking about the radically changed dynamic that is the way people get famous and attempt to start their careers as celebrities in America.  Traditionally, bands try to get a name for themselves by playing all kinds of gigs, slowly expanding their fan base, and hopefully being noticed and given a record label.  This has been changed by the new use of Youtube and Myspace as ways to get their music out in a much easier way, both to potential fans, and to the music industry at large. This isn't just limited to entire bands either. Here's a couple of success(ish?) stories that you may or may not know about:

• Panic! at the Disco 
• Arctic Monkeys  (Both bands that used myspace to spread their music and gain a following before they had record deals)
• Justin Bieber (posted youtube videos of himself singing, Usher took notice)
• Arnel Pineda (Journey members saw him singing on Youtube, so they hired him as their new singer!)

Of course these success stories have only inspired hundreds->thousands more to broadcast their personalities and talents (or lack of) around the world through the internet.  I just hope people realize that this is by no means a sure way to make a career, especially if you don't actually have the talent of another Justin Bieber or Alex Turner...(Arctic Monkey)

Apparently there's a whole community of musicians(used loosely) on youtube, that even collaborate and cover each others work over the internet.  A lot of these are extremely entertaining, but at the same time not likely to be noticed by a record label anytime soon. 

One that caught my attention recently is "Matty B"(LOOK AT THIS LINK).  He's a 7 year old rapper, and he looks at posting videos on youtube as "starting his career in the music industry here on Youtube" which pretty clearly shows the different way things are looked at nowadays(IS THAT REALLY A WORD???).

Here's another ridiculous one: RIDICULOUS  (I went through almost every single possible emotional reaction in 3:24)

Here's some other youtube  "would-be" celebrities:   Tyler Ward and Ahmir    Graham Stookey


That's it for this week, now bye.

If I Had One Piece Of Advice For Today's Youth, It Would Be To Throw A Baseball Really, Really Well

Nerd's Parents Afraid Son Will Fall In With Popular Crowd

 

Homecoming (PASSION PIT) and Halloween: You'd think that that much awesome at one time would be illegal

The weekend that we just came out of was a very important one for all of us tarheels.  This was a possibly intentional result of the coinciding of two of the most exciting events of the year for UNC-Chapel Hill.  These two events, of course, are Homecoming and Halloween. 

Our homecoming game was against William & Mary (we won, but it was a little close for comfort), and our homecoming was celebrated by inviting Passion Pit to perform on campus.  Passion Pit is a band from Massachusets that Wikipedia describes as "Electropop, Synthpop, Wonkypop, Indie Pop, Indie Rock."  In Michael speak, this translates as "awesome."

I'm a pretty big fan of Passion Pit, and I had high hopes for this show.  Needless to say, they did not disappoint.  They made my weekend with an incredible show.  Not only do they play really well live, but they're incredible performers as well.  It didn't take me long to decide that this was an amazing concert and probably the best I've seen since I saw U2.  It only really took until the third or fourth song for me to be sure.  They played "Make Light", and as soon as the main riff started up after the bells at the beginning, these incredible white lights started going off all over the stage, perfectly in time with the music, speeding up and blinding me with awesome.  As if that wasn't enough, Michael Angelakos, singer for Passion Pit, would bounce all over the stage, echoing the beats of the bass drum.  These seemingly simple things just made the concert for me.

If you know of Passion Pit at all, you've probably heard of their most famous song, "Sleepyhead".  This was the only song that my friend Nick, attending the concert with me, knew at all, even though all he knew was "sleepyhea-eaa-eaa-eaad" (that was a weird sentence).  We spent all night waiting for it, and eventually we figured it'd be the encore.  So Passion Pit said goodbye, and went off stage.  I had no idea if concerts done on university campuses followed the rules and traditions of conventional popular music concerts, so we did everything in our power to ensure that Passion Pit came back for an encore.

The entire crowd was going wild, stomping their feet and hitting the chairs in front of them.  Then Nick and I began to chant, "SLEEPYHEAD! SLEEPYHEAD! SLEEPYHEAD!"  In another minute or two Passion Pit appeared again and served up another plate of awesome, but they didn't play Sleepyhead.  Then they finished the song and the lights went out.  Immediately cheers started back up again, and Nick and I started too, "SLEEPYHEAD! SLEEPYHEAD! SLEEPYHEAD!"  This time we started hearing more people in our section, all of them joining in with our chant.  Then Passion Pit appeared again, and DIDN'T PLAY SLEEPYHEAD. Instead they played "Eyes as Candles".  This time, they started off with an incredible multi-color lightshow, illuminating Carmichael Auditorium with bright blue and red.  Yet another awesome, rousing crowd-pleaser; I absolutely loved every second.  Then the song was over, and the lights went out once more.  Almost immediately following the last note of the song, we started back up, "SLEEPYHEAD! SLEEPYHEAD! SLEEPYHEAD!" I could hear more and more people starting to join in, screaming "SLEEPYHEAD! SLEEPYHEAD! SLEEPYHEAD!"  At this point I was so totally invested, that I had no idea how I'd live with myself if they didn't play it.  I tried to distance myself from this horrible thought, and instead kept yelling "SLEEPYHEAD! SLEEPYHEAD! SLEEPYHEAD!"

Then FINALLY!  They rolled into the opening notes of "Sleepyhead", and we went wild.  I was so incredibly happy, and I wasn't even bothered by Nick's so-far-out-of-key-it-hurts belting of "SLEEPYHEA-EAA-EAA-EAAD".  To finish it all off, they repeated the instrumental synthesizer riff over and over, with countless UNC students singing along "wuuh-weu-weu-woopwedududu, wuuh-weu-weu-woopwedawuwuwuw".   Incredible.

I started out this post meaning to talk a little about Halloween as well.  Oops.  Well here's some pictures of me in costume; I might give a prize to anyone who can guess who/what I am.

keep in mind that I'm also wearing ridiculously plaid, mismatched pants.  like ridiculously. ridiculously plaid, and ridiculously mismatched.

											Incredible: 5 or 6 times      Awesome: 4     ridiculously: 4    sleepyhead: 22

social security scam robs elderly by convincing them they are dead

The inherent supremacies of higher education OR: Why college is just so awesome

Being relatively new to college life, We freshmen are provided with a unique point of view.  We've been becoming a part of this crazy thing called a college community, slowly being integrated into this lifestyle.  At the same time however, we are still coming in from outside of it, and probably notice more unusual things than someone that has already been here several years might notice.  For me, this point of view is just like having extensive musical knowledge when listening to a song or other musical composition.  It can already be very enjoyable, but the increased awareness of just how out of the ordinary or interesting and different it is can greatly add to the experience.

Possibly the most important and essential factor that makes college that much better than the stages of life directly before and after it is the independence, coupled with the line of support coming from back home.  I'm living out on my own (except not exactly) and making my own decisions, (a very slow, painful process I assure you; I am incredibly indecisive) but at the same time my living costs are being paid for and every 1-3 weeks my mom brings me more groceries. This means setting your own schedules and basically doing things your way.  I'm responsible for deciding when to sleep, when to do homework, and when to go eat. 

Now I'm going to look into just a few of the rest of the many things that make college better than high school in general.  (notice that I'm doing my listing a little differently this time...)

1)  First of all, the classes themselves are more interesting and aren't as inconvenient.  You get to pick all your own classes.  There are general education requirements, but for the most part those can be filled with all kinds of different courses.  They aren't as long either, although the homework makes up for that.  (Also the professors are much more...umm..professional.)

2) You're living at the school with a beautiful campus around you.  This means you don't need to get up and drive to school every morning and stay there for 7 hours before you can get back home.  Your home, your friends, and your school are all in the same place, making everything incredibly convenient and easy to get to.  The campus makes it a pleasure to walk around between these places, and there's tons of places to go to hang out or do homework or something all around campus.

3) The difference in attitude is another huge improvement.  You can be randomly standing in line around campus and introduce yourself to somebody and start up a conversation.  Just try that in a high school lunch line and see what happens.  Not only are people friendlier and happier than high schoolers, but they're more fun!  This entire week there's a war being raged on campus between humans and zombies;  students have bandanas marking their sides and humans have nerf guns to stun zombies with.  (One of my new hobbies is reading the desperate facebook statuses of human survivors) There's also so many interesting people here.  Just the other day I was in the bathroom in the Union when a really scruffy guy with big headphones came in.  He went into a stall, and started playing "Stairway to Heaven" out loud (He must've had speakers as well)  He then proceeded to mumble loudly to himself over the next several minutes, reacting to the music, saying things like "holy shit", "oh my god", and  "that's insane, that's insane, that's insane."


Of course these are only a few of the many things that separates college life from high school, as well as from life beyond college.






Boy Believed To Be Next Reincarnation of Regional KFC Manager Discovered in Chatfield, MN

Hurriphoonado Cuts Swath of Destruction Across Eastern, Western Hemispheres

The Fall Break List: things you didn't think you'd need in college, and things that you don't need but can brighten your day with their awesomeness

That might be my longest title to date? I'm not sure; I guess I'll have to look back to check.

Well the time has come for fall break, which for many is probably their first time going home since school started, making it a momentous occasion.  Not only does it give you an opportunity to get ahead on homework and catch up on sleep (Which you've been planning on doing all semester, what makes you think fall break will be any different?)  (I wish you could "get ahead" on sleep, that'd be extremely helpful)  (having big tangents in the middle of sentences is probably not extremely conducive to comprehension) and also get a nice haircut graciously paid for by parents, but it also presents a perfect opportunity to bring another big load of stuff from home.  And now that I've been in college for a good couple of months, I have a lot better idea of what I need that I don't have.

Of course the unintentional result of all of this is that I'm coming home with a huge to do list, which doesn't help with the whole "relaxation" plan.

And now, because I just love lists so much, (It's a little easier to slowly abandon grammar rules without people noticing)  (Incidentally, parentheses are also good for this) and because I want to give myself a break cause its fall break week, here's a list of stuff that's important to have in your dorm, and that I'm probably retrieving or restocking on this weekend.  This includes: 1) some things that I was really surprised that I needed to keep with me 2) some things that are always absolute essentials 3) some things I just really want

1)   Things that I need:

• a pocket knife     (you'd be amazed how useful it can be to have a pocket knife around the dorm.  what do I use it for? well cutting things, silly)
• lots of costume stuff (For Halloween, or just random themed dance parties.  You've got to be prepared, these things appear on awfully short notice.  (It's disco cowboy alien themed?  Okay, I think I've got something--ooh, these bell bottoms fit awfully well over my cowboy boots; now I just need to grow some scales and a third eye and I'll be good to go))
•  guitar tablature paper (makes it easier than just manually darkening lines on graph paper)
• vitamins ( this should be self-explanatory, but for some reason it wasn't for me)
• my passport  (well technically I just need the number, I feel like I shouldn't actually need to bring my passport around with me, I don't have anything to prove...)
• a big portable hard drive (backing up my computer seems like a reaaaally good idea)

2) Things that you know you need and you always need and more of them is useful:

• Clothes. more clothes.   (how independent you are can be measured by exactly how long you can hygienically survive without doing laundry)  (is hygienically a word? I feel like it shouldn't be)
• dress clothes
• toilet paper
• soap
• bathroom cleaning supplies  (I don't feel like coming up with jokes for these, so just chuckle at this please.)

3) Things that I don't actually need at all but I appreciate having:

• harmonica  (partially for the costume thing (I'm thinking of pulling together a Bob Dylan get-up for Halloween (While other people are in the bathroom touching up their costumes, I'll be rolling my head on a pillow and then running around outside trying to get my head to sweat (Oh the things I do to give myself the perfect Bob Dylan bed head... (wow these parentheses are blowing my mind)))) and also partially because I just really want a good harmonica)
• ukelele (Not for a costume, I simply want a ukelele..)
  
• speakers/subwoofer  (So my music can finally compete with that guy down the hall that keeps playing the bed intruder song)
    

Well that's it for this week, enjoy your Fall Break!  (I've been going back and forth about capitalizing fall break or not...)

NHL Tries To Woo Fans By Increasing Scoring With Bigger Nets, 3-Point Line

Historians Admit To Inventing Ancient Greeks

Distractions, the indirect cause of all of my problems

In my month and a half in college, I have learned something about myself.  Not only am i head over heels in love with late night/early morning [B]skis, but I am about as attentive and focused as a deaf man at a classical string quartet performance (or a hummingbird in a candy shop) (or a college student at an 8:00 chemistry class) (or a dead beaver).  (I have a hard time picking one metaphor and sticking with it.) (I find that sometimes I get caught on tangents and confuse myself, so sometimes it's just easier to start a new paragraph.)

I have had ADD since I was little, but I've only recently become aware of how bad it can get.  Of course you can focus easily when you're really interested in something, so the key for me is to be able to pretend to myself that something is interesting, which comes in handy (such a weirdly used word) when studying Economics.  If I'm not focused, then anything and everything around me is a distraction.  Of course, boring distractions lead to being distracted by something else, and then I go on a wild path of random thoughts until I realize where I am again.  Fun distractions, however, can lead me to be very attentive, in a misguided way.

Just to share my unproductivityness with you, I thought I'd tell you a bit about some of the biggest online and offline distractions for me.  I hope they suck up your time as quickly and unstoppably as they have mine. This might seem abrupt, but I realize I've taken way too much time already to write this post, for a variety of reasons/distractions.

• Facebook (obviously)   It's far too easy to get sucked into chatting with a random high school acquaintance, catching up on messages and notifications, brainstorming witty status updates, or just scrolling through your news feed for opportunities to express your opinion and remind people you exist.
• The Onion News  (I think I've mentioned this one before..)  I'll occasionally glance at it to see the new front page articles, and before I know it I'm stuck leafing through page after page of random and hilarious news briefs (also a hilarious term)
• Random philosophical or religious conversations in the study lounge   (it is what it is)
• Pandora Radio/music    I get no work done while listening to music.  none.  
• Funny or Die        It's kind of like YouTube, but it's regulated to keep it only funny stuff, and quality controlled to make it easier to find *really* funny stuff.
• Hulu     I love TV,  but I never seem to watch it now that I'm here in college.  Whenever I happen to have a half hour or two free, I can always use it to catch up on an awesome TV show like House, or How I Met Your Mother.
• Wikipedia    It may seem odd, but I find few things more fun than looking up some random band or movie, and then following the links from there, picking up interesting factoids.  This is also where I learn the names of the members of bands I like so that I can be a legitimate fan  (I'm always afraid that I'll go to a concert and something awesome will happen like meeting the band but then I'll be expected to know their names and I won't and I'll look like a loser who doesn't know what he's talking about and only goes to "these kinds of concerts" to look cool and probably doesn't even know any of the songs or even really enjoy or appreciate this kind of music anyway but I do! I do! I swear I love this music I just never happened to learn the names of the band members and I don't see why that should mean I'm not as big of a fan as the next person that's like saying you're probably just acting like you enjoy a movie just because you don't know who produced it) (deeeeeeep breaths... calm down michael)
• Foooooooood
• sleepiness
• Amazon.com       (I like to troll for free stuff, simple enough)
• Youtube     My YouTube expeditions are much like going through the Pit in the middle of the day right after you've had a large cup of coffee and a ridiculous amount of sugar.  There's lots of fast movement between lots of different interesting things.  You keep seeing familiar things or people that you need to interact with.  And you rarely stay for the whole conversation before you're distracted and pulled off somewhere else.  You often pretend to be interested in something because someone you know is at the booth, or they have really good candy.   I feel as if this metaphor is like a pair of shoelaces that I tied wrong: it's a little tangled and confusing, and if I try to move any farther with it I'll probably fall over and hit my head.

Well that's it for this week, good luck getting any actual work done!



'Good Old Days' Traced Back To Single Weekend In 1948

97-Year-Old Dies Unaware Of Being Violin Prodigy

Racial Harmony Achieved By Casting Of Black Actor As Teen Computer Whiz

Late Night Franklin Street and Its Varied Culinary Offerings.

Before I came to Chapel Hill, I lived far away in a small town named Raleigh, North Carolina.  You've probably never heard of it; I usually just say I live "a couple of miles outside of Apex." Raleigh is a nice enough place, and

I've enjoyed spending 18 years of my life there, but one serious problem has become apparent to me in my time there.

Imagine that you're living in the northern region of Raleigh, and it's just a little after midnight on a Saturday night.  Suddenly, you a feel a stab of hunger in your gut, and you get the urge to find a delicious midnight snack.  What do you do?

Well obviously you can't just get some chips and some dip out of the pantry, that'd be taking the unsatisfying easy way out.  Therefore, you must go out; fast food is the only option that remains.  This brings us to the problem.  Where can you go?  There are no independent delis or grills within a reasonable distance that stay open late, and almost all of the fast food that you would expect to remain open has closed.  McDonalds, Wendys, Taco Bell: all closed.  The only choice still available?  Cookout.  Now don't get me wrong, as Cookout is incredibly delicious. 
I'd go so far as to say that the only thing wrong with Franklin Street or possibly Chapel Hill as a whole is the absence of a Cookout.  The inspirational and reasonably priced milkshakes of so many different flavors, the revolutionary working man's combo: the Cookout tray, Cookout has it all.

I love Cookout, and I love that it is open until 3 AM in Raleigh, but I also love variety.  Unless I want to drive for more time than I could possibly spend eating, Cookout is the only option. 

Now this is where Franklin Street shines; after midnight, there are still a huge variety of delicious foods available.  I still haven't had the opportunity to try every single one, but I'd like to discuss several important ones.

• Bskis: put simply: simply fantastic.  Only once have I tried their namesake food item, the "ski", but it was extremely tasty.  What I really love about this place is the side items though.  The chicken strips, the huge bag of fries, the cookies and the fresh fruit.  This is all I want when I go to Bskis.  The worst feeling is when you get a craving for Bskis on monday nights, as this is the one night where they close before the AM.
• Cosmic Cantina:  As soon as I got to UNC, I began to hear amazing things about Cosmic's burritos.  The restaurant itself is a little seedy, but this only adds to the experience when you're rushing there at 2:57, to get in before they supposedly close at 3 (don't worry,they stay open as long as there's people there, and there always are).
• Jimmy Johns: A good sub is always delicious, especially late at night, and Jimmy Johns is just a classic.
• Gumby's pizza:  Enjoying amazingly delicious pokey stix and a pizza late at night with good friends: probably less than 10 dollars.  Getting late night delivery from Gumby's pizza: priceless.     Wait I think I did that wrong?
• I Love New York Pizza: greasy and delicious 
• Time Out Cafe (24 HOURS!): supposedly very greasy, and very delicious.
• Qdoba: only open late on weekends.
• Buns: because burgers are a necessity for late night dining in a college town.

That's all for this week, and now there's no reason to be scared when you get hungry at 1:45 in the morning!

DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico

A brief but powerful glance into the probably important but mostly neglected activities in my life

So just the other day I was eating a bag of garden salsa flavored sunchips

Just really, really delicious. Like really.

and watching TV, when a thought suddenly ocurred to me: Wait...don't I have something I need to be doing right now?  I tried to ignore it and go back to watching "Bad Girls Club" with my roommate (Next we planned to watch VMAs over for the 3rd time; I was still pretty sure Rihanna had been out of key for a moment.), but I just couldn't shake the feeling that I had something important waiting for me to remember it.  I tried in vain for a couple of minutes longer, but my heart just wasn't in it and I couldn't keep pretending.

Not knowing exactly what to do (Having responsibilities is still a little hard to get used to), I excused myself to the lounge and resorted to the best organizational device I had available: the notepad in my phone.  As it turns out, there were quite a few things in my notepad to do.

Except it's really, really old now. Like really.

It seems that for quite a long time I've been using my phone's notepad as a mobile to-do list for pretty much everything and anything I need to do.  The problem with this being that I would put all these things in my phone, and then only see them again when I'm adding more things in.

After I was done running around in a frenzied panic and depriving myself of sleep, I realized the incredible randomness and varying degrees of urgency in these many tasks I had hidden away in my pocket to be forgotten.  I thought I'd take the time now to show you some of the more curious items in my notepad, as well as attempt to explain them (if i can).

 It'll help to understand the format if you realize that my phone notepad has limited room.  This means that I worked very hard to minimize the space each item took up, sometimes with disastrously hilarious consequences.

• go thru phone vids/pics     (well this is reasonable, I should probably clear those out, maybe put some on facebook, etc.)
• getnewphone/backup contacts  (my phone only lets me take calls when it's in a very nice mood)
• King olav scholarship  (well it might be too late now?)
• figure out tuition bill (definitely too late)
• read tale of two cities (easier said than done)
• tune piano  (wayyyy easier said than done)
• lego harry potter  ( I wanted to get it as a gift for my brother.... I swear)
• learn2checkdebit  (useful skill)
• learn to tie ties (this too)
• ode to joy guitar  (intriguing...)
• snacks (simple enough)
• cover bush song (I think this is telling me to learn how to play "Comedown" by Bush?)
• fun.  ,all the prtygirls   (i think thats a band and then a song?)
• relafiar? (spanish word)
• crisp (not a spanish word)
• spinal appt? (sounds like it might be urgent)
• meningitis (sounds very urgent)
• Miguelio and the blaze gray shorts (there should probably be a comma in there)
• backup pc  (speaks for itself)
• striped aeropostale mac nd cheese stain (this as well)
• c#c#/cBbmwayupEbmFs2    (I wonder just how small of a space I could fit a random chord progression into if I really tried)

the rest of the list is made up mostly of

• places i have to be
• people that owe me money
• random song lyrics and ideas
• band names (made up and real)
• various chores

and of course, homework.

Speaking of which, I should probably go burn through some more of this list.



Poll: 1 in 5 Americans Believe Obama Is A Cactus

Addressing the youth of the nation: I'm about to drop knowledge

In the past, I have heard people say that the biggest problem with our youngest generation (talkin' bout my generation) is their political illiteracy, and I see their point.  A lot of people don't keep up at all with current events, preferring to stay in the dark about the serious issues affecting our country and our world today.

Naturally, I'd like to do my part to help my brothers and sisters get in touch with world news.  This way they can form their own opinions, rather than just going by whatever sounds righteous.  But rather than trying to just pass on the news to you guys in bite-sized chunks, (North Korea-crazy, Pakistan-dangerous, Russia-scary and Iceland-very nice actually) (I'd try not to show opinions about U.S. issues...) I'm going to just refer you to a web site which will do all that for me! 

This is a very reputable news site, which covers all kinds of current events in and out of the U.S.  This news site is called "The Onion."  It has its own interesting way of looking at things, so keep that in mind as you read.  They have a unique ability to really give it to us straight, because for some outlandish reason they're not really looked at as a real news site.

http://www.theonion.com/ 

The Onion is a sophisticated, textually rich news source, so sometimes you have to do some close reading to really understand what's going on.  They also write articles on all different subjects, so you can search for specific pieces about whatever you're trying to learn about!  The Onion is a very frank, straight-forward news source, so sometimes you have to take a step back and look at the big picture to really understand what's going on.

To get people started, I'm going to give links to several news clips and articles about several diverse subjects, just to give you an idea about their indepth coverage.

Sports: "Lance Armstrong wants to tell nation something, but nation has to promise not to get mad"

The drug war in Mexico: "Mexico killed in drug deal"

Education: "Are tests biased against students who don't give a shit?"

The diamond trade: "Baby skull jewelry may be linked to violence"

The economy: "New law forces ceos to humbly shrug before receiving massive bonuses"

Politics: "Victim in fatal car accident tragically not Glenn Beck"


Not to mention, they do many smaller scope human interest pieces.  This one will just brighten your day!



Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.

Well that's it for this week; have fun filling your head up-to-date knowledge about current events!

To whom it may concern: A topical case study

Being very worldly and up to date on current events, I’d like to weigh in on an important topical issue. This topic is an object of many heated arguments in this day and age, and is fundamentally related to college life and college age persons. This topical topic needs no introduction, so without further ado, I’d like to jump right in and make my contribution.

 “Band Names”
  Or: “how to make your band sound interesting and appealing, but at the same time not sound like a bunch of fascist meth-heads.”

I know this is controversial, but it’s an issue very close to my heart. One of my *at least* three hobbies is creating band names. In doing this, I’ve realized there are a few key types of band names that *most* other names fit into (Some fit into multiple categories or just defy logic). I’ll provide lots of examples for each category. Some of these are real, famous (or not so famous) bands that you may or may not have heard of. A few of them are band names created by me or friends and performed under. However, many of them are random ones that I came up with just for fun.(Try to guess which ones!)

Category 1: ordinary words. This means that you pick a random verb, noun, adjective (or adverb if you’re really getting creative) and make it the title of your band.
• Spoon (I’m still upset I didn’t come up with this one first)
• The Strokes (“The” doesn’t count)(Also, what's the musical connotation of strokes?)
• Incubus
• Detergent (The key is to pick something ordinary, but just random enough that it’s not too boring)
• Filter
• Heart
• Flash Drive

Category 2: Names (of people usually) It may or may not be the name of someone in the band and/or real.
• Kennedy
• Billy Talent
• Frank Tacks
• Kasabian (Linda Kasabian, Charles Manson’s getaway driver)
• The Bellamy Brothers (technically not names, but still)
• Captain Jack (catchy european dance-pop)
• Captain Tobasco (filthy southern garage rock)

Category 3: Foreign Language phrases/words: Now I know that these other categories should all fit for people of other ethnicities, but I’m talking about a name in another language, picked by people who aren’t native speakers of that language. Being a non-native gives you a different perspective on the sound of the words, before you know the meaning. Of course, knowing the meaning just makes it more interesting.
• Lo Que Bueno (that which is good?)
• Luego (then)
• El Contador (the counter/accountant)

Category 4: Made up words/only letters (The letters may actually stand for something)
• Chumbawumba
• U2
• CKY (Camp Kill Yourself)
• VUF (???)

Category 5: Normal phrases, can be colloquial or from pop culture or anywhere. They can also be a normal phrase twisted with new random words in it.
• Sunny Side Up
• Mustangs, Vipers and V-Dubs, oh my
• Lost in the Trees
• Guess Who

·     

Category 6: These band names are creatively random words strategically placed together. This is the catch-all category that covers most other band names. This is also the most fun category.
• Arctic Monkeys
• Hasty Bacon
• Fast cars and fold out chord charts (Too long? Too alliterative? Your choice.)
• Screaming Crayons

shameless advertising

• Ten Cent Tacos
• Clip-on Girlfriend
• Medlab 53 (My brother and I are still playing under this name occasionally, although it suggests two things about us: 1) We play heavy metal. 2) We produce meth. 0-2 so far).
• Best Thing since Tex-Mex (bold claim)
• Hand-to-mouth grenades
• Polyphonic Divergence (very cool sounding)
• Gym Class Heroes  
• The manual abortions  (very nasty and illegal sounding)
• The robust Polynesians  (very vague sounding)
• Hollywood Undead

That’s all for today! I hope you appreciated my analysis of band names, even if it’s a little bit of a simplified version.

Chill Bubble Tea: A review/tragedy part dos

Welcome back for part 2, if you haven’t read the first post you might have a hard time understanding this:
The smoothies didn't look too bad, as far as smoothies go. (which is to say, absolutely awesome) The only odd thing we noticed was that the entire bottom half of the cup seemed to have an enormous amount of black dots pressed up to the side. These, of course, were the tapioca pearls.

I'm not opposed to trying new things though, and although these pearls intimidated me slightly, I didn't let it turn me off to the smoothie too much. Our next task was to prepare the smoothies for drinking. We retrieved our humongous straws from the convenient bin, and then realized there was a problem. With this strange plastic film over our drinks, (instead of those conventional plastic lids, of which there were several I saw hidden away nearby the magic topper gizmo), we had no holes to place our straws into.

We both began to poke away at the plastic film covers, quickly realizing that we would have to fight to get to these smoothies. I tried briefly to rip the film off, but returned to poking madly. Eventually I made a small cut with the sharp end of my straw, and proceeded to stab it the rest of the way in, leaking smoothie all over the top of the cup, and spraying a small amount on my hand. After helping Laura do the same, we left the restaurant with our smoothies. (I pray that those lids were at least environmentally beneficial or something, because as far as I could tell, they serve no purpose other than to aggravate me to no end.)

Finally through this terrible ordeal, we began the walk to south campus, tentatively sipping our smoothies. My first thought was that for a watermelon smoothie, this wasn't as delicious as it could be. I didn't let this faze me, however; I'm not too picky when it comes to smoothies. I continued on until something strange happened: one of the so called "tapioca pearls" finally worked its way up the straw, and it was quite the experience. It was a small black ball, slightly bigger than a marble. It seemed to be completely tasteless, and it was chewy, which meant that by the time the rest of the smoothie in the mouthful was down the throat, this pearl was lingering, still being chewed up for swallowing. I would just be minding my own business, enjoying my smoothie, when more of the nasty black orbs would find their way to my mouth. Then I would have to slowly chew these things alone in my mouth until I could swallow them. Laura and I were immediately skeptical about the "bubbles." We made faces at each other, but continued on.

Slowly but surely, the ratio of mediocre fruit smoothie to chewy tasteless round objects began to overturn itself. As this changed, our outlook did as well. Complaining about the tapioca became the only thing we did between mouthfuls of smoothie and chewy death. Laura began to work on ways to avoid the tapioca, while I came upon another simple tactic.

Laura gave up, tossing the leftovers of her smoothie into a nearby trash can, while I began to spit. I would suck the smoothie down through my teeth, and attempt to launch the tapioca pearls through the air. This continued halfway through campus, spitting out tapioca pearls, up to five at a time.

Somehow, the actual volume of tapioca pearls in the cup looked almost unchanged, greatly discouraging me. I gave up on the smoothie, discarding it in a trashcan around South Road.

This concludes my run-in with a unique smoothie from “Chill Bubble Tea.” If you have different feelings about their divisive “tapioca pearls”, that’s completely alright, but I’ve made my judgment. To be fair, their tea is good, and I’m sure there frozen yogurt is delicious. (I mean you can’t mess up frozen yogurt can you?)

I hope you’ve enjoyed my story/review/rambling anecdote. Come back next week for my first “real” post. Also, keep an eye out for tapioca pearls on the quad…

Chill Bubble Tea: A Review/Tragedy part uno

Hello internet.

Before I write my first real post, I'd like to take a moment to address a topic very close to my heart: smoothies.  More specifically, the immense danger I put myself in every day in my constant search for another good smoothie.

Incidentally, this search is exactly what led me to wander into a certain restaurant on Franklin Street the other night. Its name...."Chill Bubble Tea".

I had heard they also carried smoothies, so my brave friend Laura and I decided to journey inside to "check it out".

First of all, the main room of the store is essentially just a long hallway; All you can see from the street is a profile view of the extensive counter, and occasionally an employee.  This means that to actually inspect the menu and decide if the restaurant is for you, you must venture all the way inside to the counter, and find the menu on the wall behind it. And by the time you're there, it can be slightly awkward to say farewell to the good cashier and make your exit, if you happen to decide that the menu is not to your liking.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), the menu did nothing but make us more enticed and excited for our beverage.  They had several choices:

1) Frozen yogurt:  classic frozen yogurt, available in several sizes.  There are many delicious looking toppings available... if you decide it's worth paying an extra dollar fifty for a couple pieces of fruit.

2) Tea:  There are many different types of tea available, sometimes mixed with fruit, and you have the option of sugar or no sugar.

And finally.. 3) the smoothies.  These are essentially the main attraction, as they may or may not be the store's namesake: bubble tea.  smoothies are available with fruit or tea as the base, and, regardless of ur choice of smoothie, filled with one extra ingredient: tapioca pearls.  This is the so called "bubble" for their "tea".

So, as classic smoothie enthusiasts, we both got fruit smoothies.  I bought the watermelon one, and Laura selected the "fresh mango" smoothie.

Now at this point I'd like to take a little while to talk about an elaborate contraption I saw at the end of the counter.  I'm no ruler, but I'd say it was about 3 feet tall, and looked ridiculous.  You can't tell very well in the picture, but there's a multitude of buttons and numbers on the panel in front, making it look awesomely complicated.

So once one of the maybe two at most people working there (what is so interesting in the back room that they want to spend so much time back there??) got to work on our smoothies, they progressed rather quickly down the counter, rapidly approaching the frightening blue machine on the end.  Honestly, I couldn't wait to see it in action.

Finally, the time came to see this marvel work its magic.  The lady behind the counter placed my smoothie, already in its cup, into the holder at the bottom of the machine.  A button was pressed, and the smoothie was carried into the machine, and slid back out in the same position.  Just like that, it was over.  All the smoothie had to show for it: a thin plastic film fixed to the top of the smoothie cup.  I was in shock for a moment, and then the disappointment slowly mounted as I realized that was all that was going to happen.

I tried not to let this get me down though, I did my best to focus on the smoothie.  Laura's smoothie spent its brief time in the machine as well, and we were almost ready to go.

Come back next time for the chilling result for  "Chill Bubble Tea: A Review/Tragedy  part uno"

-Michael

(Why is the machine even that big and intimidating?? The cup just slid in the bottom! It didn't even get lifted up or spun around or anything!!!)